Hey there Mama…
Yes you, the one feeling guilty for not having a ‘productive’ day.
You’ve managed to make it until bedtime, your head still pounding from today’s whinges and tantrums. You bend over to pick up the discarded toys, and wince at the dull ache in your shoulder, the one that you used to carry your infant for the majority of the day.
You see, he got you up early this morning, and a couple of times in the night so you’ve both spent the day exhausted,cranky, and running on an empty battery. Peeling back the duvet.. you are summoned downstairs for breakfast. But it just ends up all over the floor. You worry that your child isn’t going to eat anything, and convince yourself that you must get better at this.
You boil the kettle, and seek a moment of solace with a hot coffee,drinking in its sweet aroma until you are brought back to the current moment with the smack of a toy car racing into your ankles! You disguise your pain as your toddler looks up at you with glee, ‘Look fast car mummy!’ he exclaims as he runs back out of the room. You feel guilty for not playing with him and his cars, and convince yourself you must get better at this.
You attempt to get your toddler dressed, limbs flailing, and socks being launched across the room. Just about having time to find something clean for yourself to wear, and hoping that your hair can last another day without being washed. You feel guilty for not making more of an effort with your appearance, and convince yourself you must get better at this.
Rain pours down hard when you’ve just put on his shoes, and you take them back off again to wait until the storm passes. You are met with tears of frustration and tiredness as you try to placate him with some colouring in or a giant puzzle, promising a trip out later that day. You desperately wish the sun would come back out so you could have a nice long walk, and get some much needed exercise (for both of you) , and convince yourself you must get better at this.
It’s now way past nap time, and he’s still just crying and fed up. You compromise and end up telling him a story on the bedroom floor for half an hour until he drifts off, something you’ve not had to do before and now you worry that you have set a new precident! You feel guilty for letting him cry, and even more guilty for hoping that today’s nap is an extra long one. You convince yourself you must get better at this.
Finally alone, you rush around the house in an attempt to clear up some mess. You click the kettle back on, but forget about it once it’s boiled. Frantically scrolling through emails, and week-old messages from friends, trying to word your responses, and apologise for the delay. You start scrolling through your social media and get lost in time. You’re alerted that nap-time is over from the cries upstairs, you feel like you should have achieved more. You convince yourself you must get better at this.
But hold on for a minute Mama, because you are doing the best that you can. In every cry that they make, comes a cuddle. A cuddle from their mother, one so magical that only you can stop the tears. Their little hands gripping on tight, not wanting to let you go. So tell yourself you’re a healer Mama, Convince yourself that you’re good at this.
Breakfast drama’s fresh in your mind, slow down, and reflect for a minute. One rejected meal or heap on the floor is only a drop in the ocean of what you have already provided. You’ve nutured their tiny bodies, fed them so that they grow. Tell yourself that you’re a masterchef mama, convince yourself that you’re good at this.
Being critical in the mirror mama, not loving what you see. Just take a moment to realise, that you’re as beautiful as can be. Despite the baggy jumper, or bun of unwashed hair, you’ve grown a child inside of you, and brought them into the world. New lines around the eyes show laughter, the joy of parenthood clear. Dark circles under the eyes show your sacrifices, the nights you’ve spent tending to their needs. So tell yourself you’re a warrior mama, convince yourself that you’re good at this.
For every flaw you see in yourself Mama, others watch on in awe. So tell yourself you are a super mama, convince yourself that you ARE GOOD AT THIS!